Its Making Me Physically ill - I Dont Know What To Do?

I've been with my gf for over 3 months and we've known each other almost 3yrs..





About 3 weeks into our relationship i noticed some strang guys appearing on her myspace in the ';new friends'; page, she told me about the one being nasty and what not, and said she was going to delete him, and i didnt think twice about it. Well she was over my house the one day with her laptop and a message from the guy pops up saying ';hey babe'; and she quickly closed it out. I asked her why she didnt delete him and tried to make it seem like he was a stalker. But long story short i messaged him, told him i was her bf and i didnt appriciate him calling her babe, and i didnt want to turn things violent so if he knows something i should, spill it.





He sent me a huge email telling me about her adult friend finder page..messages she sent about going and grinding off guys at the cell block and how she usually goes home with the bouncer etc. And what her the most was she was giving him a webcam show and tellin him to talk dirty to her..





I snapped, i flipped out, she denied, i showed her dates, times, and yahoo archive stuff and she confessed to everything. She knows ive been hurt alot in the past and she has too. She ended up taking an entire bottle of antidepressions while she was drinking. Her parents took her to the ER and she saw a shrink in the mental ward. She swore she never cheated on me, she never touched another guy, that it was just talk and she would never do it again.





Well for the last couple weeks ive been getting on her alot because if you look at her page youd never know she was taken. Im her number 1, so i usually put my pictures of her and me as my default, because otherwise no one else would know. Her page layout doesnt display relationship status, and when guys message her, she doesnt tell them shes taken. I told her that it bothers me that my pictures are in the ';friends'; folder, and that theres nothing on her page showing people we're together. She kept telling me it wasnt a big deal and i was just being paranoid..





Well the other day her brother found out we're engaged, she freaked out on me and i had no idea why. There really wasnt any reason to be mad, i asked her brother, other then what he was told THAT day when he called her, what did he know about me...He had never even heard of me. And i have asked her a dozen time ';does your family know about me, does your brother know about me, does your brother know im coming for your bday?'; and everytime it was a yes...





Well when i found out she lied about that i was really hurt, and i needed to know if i could trust her, i had a hacker buddy of mine break into her myspace account. He asked me if i just wanted to do it once he got in, but i told him if i saw something that upset me, i KNOW id end up deleteing it or change her name to like ';WHORE'; and then changing her passwords so she couldnt fix it. Well the dude told me that i better be sitting and sent me 5 saved offline pages. Two of them were from 2 days ago with her talking to 2 diff guys saying she was single and they should talk and hang out sometime, gave them her yahoo, and cell number. Another was from the second week of January and she messaged some guy saying ';my p*ssy has a craving for some d*ck or mouth'; and that went back and forth until he said ';Any time, im always ready, you know how to get ahold of me';





I didnt sleep at all last night after i found out all this stuff..I confronted her this morning, and at first she was just trying to get me to tell her who got into her myspace account. I ended up flipping out and telling her thats really not whats important, who caught her doesnt change the fact thats shes caught! And she went into the same story she used before ';im sick, i have an addiction!'; and i flipped out saying it didnt matter because almost every message was sent WHILE SHE WAS TALKING TO ME, like actually durring our conversations. Again she told me she didnt cheat, that it was all talk and basically broke down. I asked how she could do that stuff and not feel guilty when she says ';i love you to me';.





I really dont know what to do, my heart cant take another hit like this. Even if their was no physical contact she was fantasizing about other guys WITH other guys. She says its not cheating...but its almost just as bad. It might as well be. The first time she did this i made a handful of demands...no more clubs, no more talking to those guys etc. Now, i flipped out, i told her that there is no more avoiding it, if she wants to be with me, She better make it obvious she has a boyfriend and TELL PEOPLE THAT when they message her. But im really not sure if thats enough...she has like 200 ppl on yahoo and i can bet that over 8/10th are guys..Its Making Me Physically ill - I Dont Know What To Do?
This female that you are ';with'; is self centered and really doesnt care about anyone but herself (maybe I am even wrong about her caring about herself). It is as though she has you in her life for her to conveniently fall back on, to fill those lonely gaps when these guys dont want to be bothered with her and isnt giving her any attention. If she was happy and content with you she would have no need to talk dirty to anyone else---in addition to whatever else she is doing. I am sorry to say but maybe you are right about her being a whore. She knows she is hurting your heart and still doesn't care. You need to step back instead of constantly throwing tantrums. Get your mind and your heart together before she drives you mad and you end up doing something you will regret. Let her go out and live her life, express herself and sexuality her way, it is her life. you know what you want and I am sure it is not someone who lies and deceives you. You are wasting your time. I am pretty sure you can do better. The more I read what you wrote the more insane it seemed as though her actions are driving you. It's ok to have love for her from a DISTANCE. If you love yourself you would stop demanding that which is obvious she does not want to do. Good Luck!!! Life is to short and is full of real Love and People for you to settle and dedicate yourself to trash.





P.S. the fact that it is making you ill is the biggest Red Flag......Sorry but that ****** doesnt give a **** about you...I'm sorry I had to do that. I hope that was a reality check. Please forgive me if I have offended or hurt your feelingsIts Making Me Physically ill - I Dont Know What To Do?
DUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER.


You know what? You threatening her and telling her ';you BETTER not tell people you're single'; is just gonna make her lie more. Trust me, I've been in a similar situation. I would dump her sooooo fast it's not even funny. She is gonna keep lying to you and it will be your fault if you continue believing it.
Wow man. I'm sorry this kind of **** has happened to you. But in my honest opinion, ditch her. She's not worth it. If it has happened THAT MANY TIMES, find someone else that will respect you and not pull that crap. Good luck man. Godspeed.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.





I think you need to get out of this seemingly toxic relationship. The ';addiction'; part I could almost understand, but not telling her family about you? That's not cool.
Bro,seriously,grow a pair and DUMP THAT WOMAN AND NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LOOK BACK!!





Dont listen to these girls who tell you to be understanding of her ';problem';.





If a guy had that as a ';problem';,we would get ZERO forgiveness. Shes using her ';problem ';as an excuse.





If you stay with her,Im gonna have to ask you to turn in your man card. Us MEN cannot allow you to keep giving us a bad name.





P.S. you had EVERY RIGHT to snoop around if she was doing wrong,certain others who shall remain nameless think that it is not ok to look into something because they are doing the same thing.If she was innocent then you would be wrong for snooping,since she was guilty,you were 100% right.
Wow this would be tough, I would hate to hear that my bf was doing this to me. Even if she says she's is not cheating, she is.If it is not physical cheating then it is called emotional cheating. She is talking to other guys to fill some sort of void in her life. This is not fair to you, You do not deserve this. Even if you stayed with her, you would never be able to trust her and you would worry yourself sick for many years. You could never be truly happy with her after knowing all that you do. You deserve better than this and when you dump her you will find a girl who is worthy of your love..this girl isn't
Shes not the problem you are...This is what she is and how she is going to live her life...as her brother said..he never heard of you..but your in denial and nothing anyone says here is going 2 change ur feelings for her until you see her gettin it by some dude with a 12inch dik or she just tells you she needs some space its not u its me line...
You need to narrow that lot down. Anyway i'd get rid if i were you.
ohhh wow.


well i think you need to let her go.


you're obviously a good caring guy if you're going through all this to stay with her.


anyone that's making you physically ill isn't worth it.


find someone better .. that's not a skank.
you were right to flip out on her you should totally break up with her if she want to be in bed with another guy you have the right to leave her. it sounds to me that she will do it again and you should not be there to get heart again you deserve much much better. ;-) hope i helped





since i helped you can you help me please! can you vote me best answer i need the points really bad.
well you should dump her and not regret it.


if shes being a whore and then lying about it to your face and did it 2 times then shes not worth your time because she wont change fast enough to not give you another blow.











BUT if you don't want to risk her reacting the same way she did the first time then make it seem like things are getting worse in our relationship for about a week or more if you choose then dump her using that but in the end you should dump her
What I personally feel is , the concept of space is completely lost btw u guys. It ain't fair to invade to her privacy and snoop around. Fine, you are her bf, but u don't own her. Don't dig ya own grave man...you've number of intances proving her not so loyal (In ur words), if ya think u had enough of spying behind her...then make her understand your point, ya feelings .Do something good for both of ya. Don't sob and play the blaming game dear....she might be wrong (apprently), bring her back to the right path...if ya really do love her whole heartedly :)








I wish ya Good Luck....life is a mind game, play ya cards wisely...cheers!