Gay life in raleigh nc, what a bad joke?

this holiday one item of interest came full frontal and that is how sad the gay community in raleigh north carolina is.

ok come on boys why is it so hard for you all to be so messed up at a party I ran into and i may have lost count but 23 guys I knew from one event or another over the 12 years i have lived here and almost everyone of them spent the evening bitching and dogging someone else in the room nothing but ';he has a little dick';, ';he has a fat ***';, ';he's not good at BJ' s';, ';that one is a back stabbing *****';, ';he's alirer';, he's into drugs hide yourWallett';, just one after another but very few truley happy so see anyone happy to be alive employeed nothing but hate and ugleyness all evening at one point someone i do not even know was telling a short little tidbit about me as i stood in the cluster of hate I finley had it and told the 35 year old queen were to get off and how to do it.. is raleigh north carolina alone in this or is there some place were people are even able to pretend to like each other and want more than a creap with his *** in the air and head in the ground one guy was counting how many people in the room he has had sex with either he's a sick slut or a huge lier at some point i told him he would have to have sex everyother day to have had that many guys in one year.. is it this way every place and is this why most of my friends are str8Gay life in raleigh nc, what a bad joke?
I just think it was that particular group. You need to stretch your horizons and meet some real gay people. I live in Charlotte and it's not much better. Here, it's the ';A'; list gays and then the rest of us. The ';A'; listers are all almost exactly what you wrote above, but I just can't hang with those bitter souls. I have better things to do. Keep going to the charity events, though. You will eventually meet nice people. The nicest ones are usually the ones NOT regaling everyone with their tales of lust and disappointment. I completely understand but don't use them as the flag-bearers of your community. The more different kinds of events you attend, the larger the group of folks you are likely to meet. By the way, I have a lot of straight friends as well, but I feel more comfortable around people of my own community. Please don't let these guys keep you from doing good for the community - the charities do need your help in whatever way you can contribute. Just keep that smile on your face and have fun and ignore the a**holes.

Love,

BretGay life in raleigh nc, what a bad joke?
sure could be.
I think it can be discouraging to realize that the social context you have chosen to be in doesn't really suit you as an individual. But, it seems that judging a whole city by your personal experience can be limiting.



If you look hard enough, I think you will find a whole other subgroup of gay men in Raleigh. Check out political action groups, the local HRC, for example. Check out local GLBT health organizations. Check out local gay political organizations or sports groups or whatever you are interested in. These groups tend to meet evenings and weekends outside of bars or house parties (where alcohol is the fuel).



Volunteering is a great way to meet serious, ethical gay men. Once you've taken the step to meet a new group of men, you may look back on your former social arena as the problem, not Raleigh itself.



Good luck.
I thought Raleigh was bigger than that. I do not know your life situation or age, but I do know that it's easy to get stuck anywhere with the ';same old group';. You MIGHT be able to find a new group by starting in on some new activities like music (chorus or barbershop?) or kayaking, martial arts, bike riding, hang-gliding hey man whatever blows your skirt up.



If that does not do much for you, you could head for gayer pastures... a lot of towns in Florida have long declared they are gay-friendly, Houston (I hear) has a huge gay scene (also, it IS America's 4th largest city....strength in numbers) Atlanta has at least one limp-wrist. The 3 largest cities in the USA have large gay communities I know this for a fact.



Anyway, Happy Holidays and best wishes to you. Not every party is a great party. Let it slide.
It's NOT the gay community and it's NOT Raleigh. The Triangle area has a pretty big gay population and you're socializing with the wrong group.

Every city has its group of superficial pretty boys and they will always act like that. Period.

Find the mature, professional educated gay men in the area---yes they are out there---and hang with them. Sure, they may not be as 'hot' as these catty pretty boys and gym bunnies...but it's still a huge improvement!



www.trianglelocalevents.com has some listings of gay organizations in the area...everything from gay scientists to religious groups to tennis clubs, business organizations, sci-fi fans, country dancing and on and on. Some where in that list has to be a group of people you'd enjoy company with and are completely the opposite of the snots you've been describing here. Good Luck!